all too well
by hideANDseakHannah
Summary: Astoria reflects on her innocent relationship with Draco and it's shattering after he leaves Hogwarts. Read and Review, please?


**Hrm. I think I know where I'm going with this. We'll see. If you haven't read and reviewed my Draco/Astoria oneshot for "Begin Again," I would love you forevs!**

**Little thing, this song is like "totes" my favorite song off RED! Ahaha, yeah, if you want to know why, check my extremely long AN on the story "Begin Again." **

**For the purposes of this story, Astoria's only a year under Draco.**

**Hannnah Kay xx**

**Astoria's POV: (it makes me sad that I can feel this one not being as good as the last one. ****)**

The sunlight glaring outside the train was a slap to the face as my head pounded to the slow pulse of sunshine. It was my second to last year at Hogwarts, but something was wrong. I could feel it in the solemn movement on the train, glum faces and the people missing.

It was the war.

Ordinarily, I guess this wouldn't affect me much. I'd just go to class and hang out with the other Slytherin sixth years. It didn't have to be different.

But it was. Something was missing-scratch that, someone. I'd searched for him on Platform 9 3/4, but then I'd realized what he'd said must have been true.

Now, I'm sure you're reeling at my ambiguity. I guess it's time I explain to you my relationship with Draco Malfoy. I'm sure you're thinking "wasn't Draco dating Pansy?" and yes, he was dating Pansy… as a cover up for dating a third year.

You see, third years dating forth years isn't common at Hogwarts even though it's only a year difference. So, when Draco and I'd first danced at the Yule Ball with me in my emerald green dress and his perfect gray eyes watching the way my brown hair fell into my eyes, and we realized we'd like to give "Dastoria," as some of the cruder Slytherin girls called us, a try, Draco thought up the plan.

Only the Slytherins were supposed to know about us and the fewer to know the better. Pansy would participate because she'd love to be paired with the Slytherin Prince for even a fake romance. It was the perfect plan.

We'd sneak off to some remote corner of the castle and laugh, talking about small things. It was innocent in the quiet of my third year and his forth. I remember so clearly the first time he leaned over and kissed my cheek in the dark hideaway we'd chosen near the end of the term. It was raining outside and the soft pitter patter of rain against the ceiling was the backdrop to uncontrollable fireworks at the feeling of his soft lips against my skin set my entire body on fire.

My forth year was only a bit different, still innocent and genuine, but this time his fingers would slide slowly around to cup the back of my neck before he kissed me. Soft and slow under the light of the moon on the Astronomy tower or as we sat alone in the back of the library with no one around. Those moments were sheer perfection, but it wasn't until my fifth year that he started treating me as if I wasn't a China doll that would break if he held me the wrong way.

We hadn't seen each other all summer unlike the others due to pure circumstance and when my eyes met his across the crowded platform I could tell something was different. Still, we couldn't speak in public so he hurried off with Pansy and the others and I sat with a few girls from my year. It was maddening waiting for that night to come for him to whisk me away.

This time the Room of Requirement was our destination. That night was a night I'd never forget in a million years, a million moments in one hour of absolute and utter perfection… it was the night he made me his. Somehow even that night held the innocence of a first love.

Even then he seemed sad though. His kisses were bittersweet against my skin, fingers trailing over my body as if to memorize it, eyes searing into mine with a heartbroken stare. After, I pressed my lips to his chest ever gently, frowning a bit. "Draco, what's wrong?" I'd asked him, but he'd merely wrapped his arms around me tightly, pressing his own lips against my hair.

Now I know. I guess I'd known all summer, but I refused to believe it was true.

Slowly, I pulled the worn letter from the pocket of my robes, eyes filling slowly to the brim with hot tears.

_Dearest Astoria, _

_I'm sorry, but I won't be coming to visit you this summer. Nor will I be returning to Hogwarts in the fall. It's best you don't know the details, love, but know it's not best for you to be with me anymore. We've had a good run, but it's over. Know this though, dearest, I remember it all too well. I hope you remember too._

_Love, _

_Draco_

The letter crumpled in my fingers as I shook my head, ripping it slowly to bits before tossing it across the empty compartment. Then I reached into my rucksack, pulling out the green and gray scarf from it's contents and pulling it to my nose, sighing at the smell that was so uniquely Draco. Inside this rucksack are all the things he sent back to me, books, clothes and other items of insignificance. This scarf though he'd left at my house when he popped in during Christmas holiday during my forth year.

I looked at the broken pieces of his letter on the ground and sighed quietly, shaking my head.

"I remember too."

**Yeah, so, this didn't turn out as well as I wanted it too… anyway.**

**Merry Christmas, loves. **

**Reeview? **

**Hannnah Kay xx**


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